Bad Date: 5 Steps Ahead

One of the reasons I started this blog was to share some of the horrifying and/or hilarious stories I have from dating. I tended to share these on Facebook and the feedback was pretty good. I mean, who doesn’t love a good story?! As tedious, or as cringe-worthy, as these nights were, there were also some really helpful lessons to be learned. 

FYI - all names have been changed, although I’ll be honest... some of these guys I went out with once, so I don’t always remember their names after a few years anyways. 

A few years ago, I met Ned online, and he seemed nice. He was going through a divorce and had no kids. Not that any of that specifically matters; I come from a blended family, so it’s not even a thing for me. 

Ned wanted to pick me up. Normally, that goes against my normal protocol as a strong independent woman, but I thought maybe I was being stubborn, so I said okay. I was living in the country at this time, so it was a pretty decent drive each way. 

It was dusk, and the highway we were on is pretty narrow and windy, with no shoulders. I can tell he’s driving without the headlights on - only the daytime running lights. I kind of mention it, because we can barely see the highway, and he’s not particularly familiar with it to begin with. He tells me he borrowed his mom’s car and doesn’t know where the headlight switch is at. I reach over and turn them on. They’re in the same place, and labelled, as any other vehicle I’ve driven. 

We go to dinner and a movie, which is fine. The extremely odd thing, though, is that he walks at least five steps ahead of me all night. He would NOT walk beside me. It’s icy, too, and so I’m walking extra fast just trying to catch up, and I’m almost falling on my face. Super. I tell him this, and he still doesn’t walk beside me. 

He also talks about his soon-to-be ex-wife a lot, which is decidedly off-putting. She’s a Jehovah’s Witness, and was a LOT younger than him. Fun fact. 

Because he drove and I’m about a half hour from home, I grin and bear it. Looking back, I could have cut the date short and had someone come get me, but it didn’t seem that bad. I mean, he wasn’t a horrendous human being, but the whole ex talk and refusing to walk beside me was... moderately messed up, and I felt uncomfortable the entire evening. 

He dropped me off, I said thank you and goodnight. At this point, I wasn’t sure what to think. He later asked me out again, and I declined. I told him I didn’t feel any chemistry. He asked me how I could possibly know that from one date. I don’t believe in calling someone out for not liking their quirks. Maybe I should have told him, but even after mentioning it as few times during the evening, he didn’t clue in. 

Sometimes, you just know. 

Lesson learned: drive yourself